Battles on the Homefront

It's bad when possessions turn on one. Our cat has possessions scattered about the house; stuffed mice, catnip pillows, purloined jewelry. Normally they don't cause any trouble. However, recently when daughter and her spouse-to-be were spending the weekend, everyone had gone to bed except cat and I. The downstairs was quiet, the TVs were off, and I was turning off lights. The cat was helping. Then I heard a peeping/chirping noise in the cat's corner of the living room. A few years ago we had been visited by mice, and we believe we won that battle. I really, really hoped that the mice hadn't heard about the peanut butter we baited the traps with and were back for a snack, but I was too cowardly to make a thorough check of the suspicious noises. I hurried up the stairs to bed with the cat on my heels.

The following morning, after daughter and her spouse-to-be had left, I was again in the living room, which was fortunately chirp-free. Whew! I thought, as I sat on the couch. Then suddenly the chirp/peep was back with a vengeance. It was nonstop, and it was loud. I went outside in the rain to see if the noise, which sounded like a nest of baby birds, really hungry ones, was coming from the dryer vent. No such luck. Back inside, I called spouse from the man cave to back me up. We checked, and the cat corner was mouse-free. Then we pulled the couch away from the wall, and the noise followed. Using the trusty yardstick, I scooped out all the treasures from underneath, and found the dreaded mouse. It was gray with a pink nose and tail, and Yumyum immediately exclaimed, "I wondered what happened to my favorite toy!" or something like that. This squeaky mouse is years old, and is only supposed to squeak when it is shaken. Obviously the toy is possessed. It went right into the trash. Where it finally stopped its endless squeaking after it received a severe shaking. Spouse brought the trash bag to the barrel outside immediately. Why take a chance?

Spouse had his own battle the other night when I was out with the girls. On my way home through the neighborhood, I saw a couple of young men with clipboards walking the streets. Clipboards in the neighborhood are never a good sign. Spouse gave me the low-down when I got home. One of the young men had come to the door and asked if spouse remembered him from last year. (???) Spouse asked if the young man wanted money. Ignoring the question, the young man said he was part of an organization to abolish sippy-cups. Now spouse and I both have ears that aren't as sharp as they once were (unless it involves mouse noises) so I am not convinced that sippy-cups are what the young man actually said. Spouse's refusal to open his wallet finally penetrated to the young man's ears (eyes?), and he took his business elsewhere. But if sippy-cup is actually what the young man said, I want to lodge an official protest here and now that sippy-cups had better be here to stay. Now that spouse and I are the proud grandparents of the most beautiful little boy in the universe, nobody is going to take away anything that sweet baby will need. What will that young man be protesting next summer? Pampers? Baby burps?