How Far is Too Far?

I have met people who will not drive over a bridge. Since they happen to live on Cape Cod, this means they never leave the place, which is basically an island since its only connections to "off Cape" are made of steel. Others think that driving to the next town is too far to go unless there is a special reason, and they consider a 20 minute trip an event.

Spouse and I like to be in the car, and like to cover a lot of ground. We don't need a specific destination when we start out. On weekends, we want to get out of the house, see things, do things, see new sights. We stop at McD's for our 32 oz. sweet tea (still only $1.00) and head out on the open road. There is always a meal on the agenda, and often the GPS is involved. One more friendly voice in the car adds to the fun of the day.

One time we drove an hour to reach a Shoney's in Rhode Island. We had fond memories of their buffet from vacations past, and wanted to recapture come of that vacation food fun. We got all the way there and saw that Shoney's had closed and we had to eat at a Ruby Tuesday's instead. It has taken me 12 years to appreciate Ruby Tuesday's and it is solely because of the avocado turkey burger. But I digress.

We have repeatedly driven 1.5 hours to the Burlington Mall to dine at the Rainforest Cafe, one of the most fun places on the earth or at least on this hemisphere. The food is ample and excellent, the ambiance is pure squeaky-clean jungle, and the Volcano dessert is to die for. And if you ate a Volcano by yourself you probably would die. Six people could easily share this brownie/cake/ice cream/whipped cream extravaganza. There are two Rainforest locations at Disneyworld, so driving to Burlington is a much shorter ride, and brings back a little of the vacation feeling, at least until we step back out into the mall.

Kelly's Roast Beef is also worth a 1.5 hour journey. Not only is their roast beef fantastic, but their onion rings and french fries are - you guessed it - to die for. Much better to share them. We can walk off some of the excess calories strolling through Jordan's Furniture and asking the sales people "What happened to Barry?". And then, if we're still hungry, we can drive another 20 minutes to Uhlman's in Westborough for ice cream - rich, homemade, creamy ice cream.

We do have favorite restaurants that are only about 45 minutes away; Texas Roadhouse, Five Guys, Smoky Bones, Olive Garden, Outback. There are even a couple only 15 minutes away, like Red Robin, Longhorn Steakhouse, Chili's. But we can go to those any time. Running up the mileage makes a meal more special, and vice verse.

I don't have one favorite restaurant, but I have a favorite few. Starting with the closest geographically, the Family Cupboard in Bird-in-Hand, PA, is Amish and Mennonite and has both a buffet and servers if you choose to have your portions controlled, and shoo fly pie is available at all three meals. Family Cupboard is about eight hours from home, so we don't go there often. Maybe once a year, and we make the visit count.

Another special favorite is the Ville de Flora at Gaylord Palms in Kissimmee, which is 24 hours from our house. It is a buffet, naturally, and every night has a different theme, be it Spanish, French, Greek, or Italian. Italian (the only one we have tried) includes prime rib and about a thousand fantastic side dishes. I could almost become a vegetarian for a meal, but not really. Just before we reach bursting point, we head for the dessert island for the sample-sized treasures that make it deceptively easy to fill a plate before you know what is happening. I remember my father repeating what he heard so often in the army, "Take what you want but eat what you take." So that's what I always try to do. Waste is sinful, and so is gluttony, but waste seems more sinfullier. Once we stagger out of the V de F, we walk extensively around the four acre atrium lobby and gawk at the tropical paradise. This is the only resort I have visited that has alligators in the lobby which sounds scary but is not.

Another favorite restaurant is located at Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge, also 24 hours from home. It is Boma, an African themed buffet, open for breakfast and dinner. Again, the side dishes are enough to make the meal, but the prime rib, turkey, and chicken are too tempting to resist. The desserts are the first offerings we walk by on the way to our table. I think the hosts plan their routes carefully. If we fill up on those sweets we won't have enough hard drive space for the pricier buffet items. One server we had actually brought us each a zebra pastry to eat before we even ordered beverages. Naturally we all ate that first. It is now the first thing I put on my plate when we are lucky enough to get to Boma. I just saw on bing dictionary what "Boma" means - 'enclosure: in central and eastern Africa, an enclosed camp or an enclosure for animals'. I won't take that personally.

There is one more special favorite on my list - Marie Callender's. Unfortunately these restaurants are four to five days away, and I don't know when we will be able to get to another one. The meals are good, but they are not the shining star here. You have to, have to, have to save room for dessert, which is always PIE. My favoritest pie of all, even better than the Chocolate Satin, is the Double Cream Blueberry (fruity therefore healthy). On our first visit to Marie's, spouse and I ordered different flavors (noted above) and shared. On our second visit I again got the Double Cream Blueberry and there was no sharing. It was so good that I did not even mind that spouse spilled some blueberries in his lap, stained his off-white cargo shorts, and decided to abandon them in the motel room rather than have us try to get that stain out at home even though it was first time he had worn them. Shakespeare may have thought the play's the thing, but I say the pie's the thing. If you happen to find yourself on the west coast and in a Marie Callender's and you are still hungry after your meal, have a nice piece of pie, any flavor you want. But if you can't make up your mind, have the Double Cream Blueberry.

Do My Eyes Deceive Me?

I've been told not to sweat the small stuff. I prefer "don't forget the small stuff." The small stuff is where I find the quirky, puzzling, funny, ridiculous, and entertaining. I see some of the best stuff while I'm in the car, and today seemed to be extra stuffish, beginning with my commute along Route 3A, normally scenic and a favorite of wildlife. There were five different potentially fatal (for the chipmunks) incidents. Squirrel, turkey, and deer crossings are easy to deal with; a) proceed with caution and hope for signs of intelligence, b) swerve, c) blow the horn, d) slam on the brakes. Chipmunks, however, only have one speed, they never look both ways or even one way, and unless you time it just right - well, you know what happens. How have chipmunks survived for 76,000 years with not much more than a cute face going for them?

In the Wendy's parking lot at lunch time, I saw a truck with a cherry picker (boom lift, man lift, basket crane) parked about 50 feet away. The middle-aged truck driver was strolling around the outside of the truck, looking things over, and he was wearing a safety harness and a hard hat. This could be entertaining, I thought. He carefully climbed up into the bucket and I heard the whine of the hydraulic motor, and saw him slowly moving the bucket from side to side and then up and down. What I found strange was there wasn't a pole, tree, sign, or building within reach of the bucket. The man was just playing. Then I saw the sign on the truck door with the words "equipment rental". I'm eating lunch on my lunch hour, and he's riding in a bucket. And why at Wendy's? Why not at Burger King? Why not at the mall? And why did he do exactly the same thing yesterday?

I see limos/livery/transport vehicles all the time. Who doesn't? They are all basically taxis of different degrees of fancy-shmanciness. I've seen Hummer stretch limos, Cadillac limos, Lincoln limos, buses, and plenty of cabs of every size and color. Driving home along Route 44 today, I saw a "Victoria's Transport" cab and then I tried to imagine that it's our vacation day; I call Victoria's for the ride to the airport. Spouse and I gather our luggage together by the front door; his 26" rolly bag, my two smaller rolly bags, the toiletries, the shoe bag, the laptop bag, the camera bag. The taxi arrives, the doorbell rings, we open the door and see... a Toyota Prius. Really???

Today was sunny and hot, a perfect spring day. A thirsty kind of day. And then I saw The Soda Machine as I was cruising home on scenic Route 58, through the woods. Standing proud and tall against the side of someone's garage in a nice neighborhood, not far from Edaville Railroad (to which Thomas the Train will be coming on June 21st), and even less far from where King Richard's Faire is held every year, was a Pepsi machine. It wasn't an old, abandoned, wreck of a machine, it had the latest Pepsi logo and was lit up. I could see that from the road. So the question is, can passersby pull into the driveway, take a few steps to the side of the garage, and drop some coins? The homeowner could have put the machine around the back of the garage, out of sight of thirsty passersby. But he didn't. This is out in the middle of rurality with not a convenience store in sight. And there are other people along this same road selling armloads of campfire wood for $1.00. Entrepreneurial awesomeness!

When I was 18, before I had bought my first car, I wanted a Ford F-150. Not for any special reason, I just liked them. Over the years my dream car has changed many times, and has included a Lotus, a white bullet-proof Chevy Suburban with tinted windows, a yellow Toyota FJ Cruiser, a Ford Flex, and an Audi R8 GT3. Lately I've gone from frivolous to practical, and have a new favoritest car that I will never own. I have had my eye on a Ford F650 for its versatility and stylishness and was able to drive by the local Ford dealer to check out my black beauty from time to time. But today on the way home from work, my eye was caught by another, and I now have a new favorite. It's a Ford F750. Who needs the F650, when the F750 is around? The one I saw was doing duty as a dump truck, but from the looks of it, I could tow a house with that power. I could sit in the cab and be at eye-level with tractor trailer drivers. In short, I could fear nothing and no one in this beast. Could driving get any better than that?

Keep your eyes open. Watch for the small stuff.